King David’s Parenting DOs, Part 1
Originally published in Light Magazine.
Part 1: King David’s Parenting DOs
DO #1: Trust God and be obedient
King David wanted to build a temple for the Lord. In 1 Chronicles 17:1 he says: “Here I am, living in a palace of cedar, while the ark of the covenant of the Lord is under a tent.” He couldn’t stand the idea of living in the comfort of a palatial fortress, while the presence of the Lord was kept in a temporary shelter. Nathan, a prophet of God and advisor to the King, tells David the message God gave him: It’s not going to be you. It’s going to be your son.
David had every human reason to feel jealous or bitter—after all, it was his dream to build the temple, only for God to pass the honor to his son. David could have let his pride get in the way and taken credit for what God had chosen another to do. Instead David goes before the Lord in worship and thanksgiving, excited for his son's future and fully obedient to the vision God set for his family. Parenting well starts with trusting God and being obedient to Him.
DO #2: Prepare your kids for their calling
As a parent, I want to protect my kids. It is tempting to shield them when things get hard. Honestly, sometimes I even take over. 1 Chronicles 22:5 David says: “My son is young and inexperienced, and the house to be built for the Lord should be of great magnificence and fame and splendor in the sight of all the nations. There I will make preparations for it.”
Instead of shielding Solomon out of fear, David helps prepare the way. He spends years gathering materials, hiring workers and storing wealth so that Solomon will have everything he needs to see God’s plan through. What can we do to prepare our kids for wherever God may lead them? This is something my husband and I are still figuring out. For now, here’s what we’re focused on:
1) We go first: My husband and I follow Jesus. Preparing the way for our kids means going first. We read our Bibles, we pray, and we try to make sure our home and our choices reflect our faith in Christ. Our kids are watching, so we go first.
2) We notice, but don’t necessarily schedule: Avery, in grade 5, has always been athletic, so after years of asking to play soccer, she’s joining her first formal program–after God answered our family’s prayer for a club that doesn’t play on Sundays. Nathan, in grade 4, has always had an eye for art. He loves sitting at his desk, following drawing tutorials, and creating detailed artwork. He’s not interested in taking a class. We frame his artwork.
3) We get to know our kids: And we don’t get hung up on gifts, talents, or calling. We want our kids to be seen, known, and loved for exactly who they are. Because you trust someone who knows you, right? When they hear God calling—maybe one day soon, or maybe years and years from now—prayerfully, they’ll trust us enough to tell us about it.
DO #3: Endorse your kids
At the end of his reign, King David stands with Solomon before the assembly (the leaders, officers, army commanders and officials) and says:
“My son Solomon, the one whom God has chosen, is young and inexperienced. The task is great, because this palatial structure is not for man but for the Lord God… in my devotion to the temple of my God I now give my personal treasures of gold and silver for the temple of my God, over and above everything I have provided for this holy temple… Now, who is willing to consecrate themselves to the Lord today?” (1 Chronicles 29:1,3,5)
David publicly affirms Solomon’s leadership and calling, without making it about himself. He doesn’t take credit for Solomon’s success or undermine his son’s identity as God’s chosen for this task. David recognizes what God is doing in his son’s life and uses his own influence to help along the way. And the people gave willingly (v6). This wasn’t a gift to Solomon personally. This was giving to the Lord and the people rejoiced (v9).
As parents, we get to notice who God is growing our kids to be, affirm what we see, and encourage them without getting in the way of what God is doing.
