Building a Family Prayer Life - Part 2
Originally published in Light Magazine.
Part 2: Staying Serious About Prayer, Even As the Kids Get Busy
Our family prayer time shifted as the kids became school aged. We enrolled them in a Christian private school and this undoubtedly accelerated their prayer life, but a teacher (or pastor or ministry leader) never replaces the influence of parents and life at home.
Dr. Anne-Marie Ambert, a Canadian sociologist, has spent years studying the profound impact parents have on their home environment. In her comprehensive textbook, Parents, Children, and Adolescents, research shows that when parents and children share a tight bond, it directly supports the child's emotional growth, and shapes what a child values and believes.
Parents who hold fast to their family prayer time, no matter how busy life gets, equip their children to lead active prayer lives. Here’s how we’ve seen this play out in our family:
My son was worried about his first wiggly tooth. He knew it was going to come out soon and feared that it would be painful. I encouraged him to pray and He asked God to take away the pain. The next morning my son woke with blood on his pillow and his tooth on the mattress. I asked him if he knew what that meant. He didn't, so I reminded him that he'd prayed the day before and God answered the prayer. My son was amazed and delighted.
Psalm 5:3 says: In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. God promises that He is always listening when we pray. It’s our privilege as parents to teach our kids to watch for His response. Because children need help making that connection, my husband Ivan and I look for every opportunity to ask about their day and point them back to God’s faithfulness.
What happens when prayer seemingly goes unanswered? My daughter struggles with nightmares. Her nightly prayer request is for a peaceful sleep. More often than not, the following morning she will tell me about her bad dream. One day she asked me why we keep praying against nightmares if they still happen.
I explained that God doesn't give us bad dreams on purpose. Romans 8:28 says: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. I remind her that sometimes it's the hard stuff that teaches us to trust God, rely on Him and persevere in prayer. God is working something in her heart, even if she doesn’t understand it right now.
The conversations we have about prayer serve as a model for our kids. Matt Chandler, lead pastor of The Village Church in Texas and author of Family Discipleship, explains that when parents grow a love of Christ in themselves first, they begin to extend love, grace and peace to one another.
“This is what models to our children the need we all have for Jesus,” he said in his series on family discipleship. “God’s design for the family is so thorough and so effective that you are discipling your children right now. The question is what are you discipling them in. Sowing a love for Christ in your children really is the way to the fullest life possible.”
It doesn’t have to be perfect, it has to be consistent. “God hasn’t asked you to be a perfect parent. He knows you can’t be,” says Pastor Matt. “If you keep modeling, one day at a time, over a long period of time, God is going to do some cool things.”
During family prayer time when my daughter was in grade three, she said she wanted to accept Jesus into her heart. After Ivan explained the meaning behind the salvation prayer, she asked if he could tuck her into bed and lead her through it.
When our son started grade three the following year, he told us the same thing. Ivan took him to his room, where they quietly prayed the salvation prayer together.
A thriving family prayer life requires an intentional choice, not an empty calendar. Consistently protecting that time is what gives a child’s faith the room to grow.
Sources:
Ambert, Anne Marie. Parents, Children, and Adolescents: Interactive Relationships and Development in Context. 1st ed. New York: Routledge, 1997.
Truth Endures. “Family Discipleship (Part 1) Modeling - Matt Chandler.” YouTube video, 48:31. May 9, 2016. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqyzDcoTTZ4.
Chandler, Matt, and Adam Griffin. Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home through Time, Moments, and Milestones. Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2020.
