Building a Family Prayer Life - Part 1
Originally published in Light Magazine.
Part 1: Getting Serious About Prayer, Even When the Kids Get Silly
When I became a Christian in my mid-twenties, one of the first things I learned to do was pray but it was at least a year before I felt comfortable doing so out loud, in the presence of others. My husband Ivan became a Christian as a teenager and has been praying fervently out loud ever since.
When God blessed us with children after three years of marriage, we were suddenly learning how to become parents at the same time as learning how to raise a Christian family. One of the first places we started was with prayer.
Research from the Harvard T.H. School of Public Health found that kids who grow up praying enjoy better physical, mental, and emotional health as young adults. The 2018 study, published in the American Journal of Epidemiology, followed over 5,000 kids and teens for up to 14 years. The researchers found that regular prayer led to lower rates of depression, substance abuse, and risky behaviors. It also noticeably boosted happiness, a desire to volunteer, a stronger sense of purpose, and a greater ability to forgive.
When the kids were preschool aged, we started praying together before bed. It was often chaotic. The kids would giggle and offer up very silly things to pray about. Their little minds hadn’t fully grasped that prayer was a special–and serious–conversation with God. This was both frustrating and discouraging for us as parents trying to do as the Lord calls in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
As Pastor Dr. David Ireland, lead pastor at Christ Church in New Jersey, and author of Raising a Child Who Prays, shared during an interview with Focus on the Family: “As parents we need to engage our children in ways that they can understand, in prayer methods and activities based on their age. What’s important is opening their hearts up to the practice of prayer.”
In his search for a solution, my husband decided to buy several prayer storybooks that we could read together at bedtime, instead of trying to force our kids to pray before they were ready. Our kids enjoyed looking at the pictures and listening to us read, and the books taught simple concepts like thanking God for friends and family, and a safe and warm home.
For the next few years, all we did was read those prayer books for our family prayer time. We kept it consistent, the kids learned to expect it and it became a simple but meaningful way for us to pray as a family. Still, as a parent wishing to do what’s right in God’s eyes, I worried that reading prayers from a book was not as pleasing to Him as saying them out loud.
Michael and Melissa Kruger, authors of The Good News Family Devotional, emphasized the need for routine during an interview on the With The Perrys podcast. As they put it: "At some point, every family has got to say, what is this family going to be about?”
To help parents navigate family discipleship with young children, the Krugers offer a practical “3 P's” approach: a place, a plan, and a pattern. Even after a long and exhausting day of parenting, having these three elements in place is exactly what helps to develop the habit of family prayer time.
Ephesians 6:18 says “pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” All kinds of prayers includes prayer books read aloud, simple one-sentence prayers (if your kids can manage it) and mom and dad praying for their children, with their children.
Being consistent with family prayer time matters much more than finding the perfect way to pray. This shared routine is what nurtures a child’s prayer life.
Sources:
Chen, Ying, and Tyler J. VanderWeele. 2018. "Associations of Religious Upbringing with Subsequent Health and Well-Being from Adolescence to Young Adulthood: An Outcome-Wide Analysis." American Journal of Epidemiology 187 (11): 2355–2364. https://doi.org/10.1093/aje/kwy142.
Focus on the Family. "Developing a Love of Prayer in Your Kids - Dr. David Ireland." YouTube video, 30:37. January 7, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nhKm1ZG1-E
Ireland, David. 2016. Raising a Child Who Prays: Moving From a Dynamic Ritual to a Life-Changing Relationship. Bloomington, MN: Chosen Books.
Perry, Jackie Hill, and Preston Perry. 2026. "Discipling Our Kids with the Krugers." With the Perrys. Podcast, May 18, 2026. Spotify.
Kruger, Michael J., and Melissa B. Kruger. 2026. The Good News Family Devotional: 52 Weeks Through the Gospel of Mark. Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers.
